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International Mystery: When The World Visits Your Blog

World Visitors To A US Blogger's Site

When I speak of “International Mystery,” I’m not referring to MHz’s excellent line-up of detective shows featuring Montalbano, Van Veeteren, Wallander and Maigret. What’s more, this post completely ignores those case-cracking inspectors, Morse, Lewis, and Lynley, who hang out over at BBC Television.

Instead, I am using the word international to refer to the list of countries from which my websites have been accessed.  In alphabetical order, they include:

  1. Australia
  2. Canada
  3. China
  4. Cyprus
  5. France
  6. Germany
  7. India
  8. Indonesia
  9. Israel
  10. Peru
  11. Russian Federation
  12. Scotland
  13. Spain
  14. United Kingdom
  15. United States

Getting To Know A Fellow Book Lover

The mystery part of the equation is my curiosity about those people in faraway lands who have, accidentally or not, visited my sites. A part of me wishes I could greet them at the portal, shake hands, and take the time to learn more about them. Hmm:

Me: “Excuse me, please, but would you mind answering a few questions?”

World Citizen: “That depends.”

Me: “On?”

World Citizen: “Whether or not I like what I see on your websites. Step aside and let me find out.”

Me: “Oh. Well, all of that is still a work in progress…self-publishing and all. Maybe I could ask you a few questions before you go any further.”

World Citizen: “That depends.”

Me: “On?”

World Citizen: “What you plan to do with the knowledge.”

Me: “I’m going to sell it to those Facebook people. Wait! Just kidding. Come back.”

World Citizen: “You’d better be kidding. I don’t want my private thoughts and information being scattered onto the web — and into eternity — by you or anyone else.”

Me: “Right. Do you own a computer?”

World Citizen: “Obviously.”

Me: “Then it’s too late. You’re on the radar of the everlasting data compilation bots.”

World Citizen: “Is that stuff legal?”

Me: “Dunno. But it doesn’t matter since scientists are on the cusp of developing computer technology that will read thoughts. Just wait until someone figures out how to smack a tax on those gems. Anyway, imagine trying to fight with your husband or wife while he or she is holding one of those mind reader devices.”

World Citizen: “I’d rather not. Listen, I need to get moving. This is the internet, after all, and you’ve managed to burn through my attention span, currently measured in Planck units.”

Me: “I thought the smallest measure of time was the nanosecond?”

World Citizen: “You’re really old school, aren’t you?”

Me: “Probably.”

World Citizen: “Tell you what. As soon as those scientists make it possible for others to read your thoughts, send me your link and I’ll send you answers.”

Me: “How about I just beam them over to you. Remember? Like they used to do on Star Search?”

World Citizen: “Star Trek. Your condition is worse than I thought.”

Me: “My condition?”

World Citizen: “Eighties fever. Once you get it, it’s with you forever. Never goes away.”

Me: “Ohmygod, that is, like, so rad, man. Like, totally!”

World Citizen: “Don’t overdo it. And quit matching your socks to the color of your shirt. Gotta roll.”

Me: “Later, dude.”

How To Start Conversation With A Not-Quite Stranger

In all seriousness, if I thought I could solve this international mystery by making a questionnaire the first stop on my website, I would do it.

And what would I ask the people who stop by?  For starters:

  • Tea or coffee?
  • Which fiction genres do you read?
  • As a child, who nurtured your love of reading?
  • Do you have a dream of someday writing a book? Or have you already written one>
  • What factors help you decide whether or not to purchase a book?
  • In your opinion, what is the best book-to-screen adaptation? Why?

I must say that even if this mystery never gets solved, it’s pretty exciting, anyway.

 

 

 

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